Episode 54 | Adultery Isn’t Cool

Written by on December 3, 2012 - 5 Comments
Categories: Podcasts

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This time we discuss a listener question from a lesbian who’s been pretty thoroughly cheated on by her long-time partner, which leads into a broader discussion of adultery and why cheating sucks on so many levels.

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5 Responses to “Episode 54 | Adultery Isn’t Cool”

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  1. RedMojo
    January 11, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    I have been struggling with my response to this episode. I listened to it in early December and had a very visceral negative reaction to it. Not that I am trying to say cheating is okay, but I heard a lot of judgement in the tone of the responses that hit me wrong.

    I have enjoyed many of your podcasts (with the exception of the spankings which I fast foward through). After much thought, I have deleted this podcast from my subscriptions.

    Best of luck to you both

    Reply
  2. Liam
    December 25, 2012 at 12:34 am

    Merry Christmas everyone. Finished the homework. My pet has a new toy that made her cheer. ;)

    Reply
  3. Murray
    December 20, 2012 at 12:24 am

    Okay, I have a wild crazy story…and I’ll start by saying what brought me here. My wife and I had just finished 2 play sessions with a swinger couple that we had met the night before….and between play sessions they told us of your podcast. My wife and I have been married for 14 years, and on year 10, we started talking about possibly hooking up with other people, but we were always too afraid to make that leap. Then one week end my wife had a conference out of town, and she ended up hooking up with a guy while she was there. We are a VERY open and honest couple, and she told me of her fling as soon as she got back, and I went into a jealous tirade for about 2-3 days. I was very angry with my wife, but at no point did I ever want to end our marriage, despite the advice of my “friends”. Well, after much discussion with my wife, I was eventually able to come to terms with my jealous feelings. She begged for forgiveness, but I didn’t she felt she needed it, as we had discussed doing this prior….so I didn’t really think she owed me an apology…rather that I owed her an apology for getting angry, despite her honesty with me.

    Needless to say, the whole event forced me to grow up and it really forged a stronger bond between my wife and I. Now, fast forward 4 years, and now my wife and I have experienced threesomes, gang-bangs and full swaps. The biggest change in me is now I am completely honest with my wife, and I no longer have any feelings of jealousy…as jealousy is not rooted in love. I love my wife strong enough to allow her to experience sexual pleasure with whomever she chooses. And she loves me the exact same way…and the end result is a marriage deeply rooted in love, pleasure and complete openness and honesty. I no longer have any feelings of jealousy or possessiveness, all I care about is my wife’s happiness. Something that was lacking before we entered the lifestyle.

    Now we have friends that we can share deeper and more intimate feelings with and ultimately have great times with both in the bedroom and out in public. This lifestyle has enriched our lives…and now you have gained a new listener because of it!

    Thank You!
    Murray

    Reply
  4. Silversurfer
    December 5, 2012 at 4:13 am

    Thanks for a enligtning episode. You both have excelent advice to share with us. I always enjoy your podcasts. We have an issue regarding ethical nonmonogamy,I belive my fiancee will ask about soon. I begun listening 1 month ago and have now heard them all, now my fiancee has begun listening too and we discuss each podcast to expand our sexual life. Kindest regards Silversurfer.

    Reply
  5. JS
    December 4, 2012 at 3:38 am

    Welcome back ;) (I dont surf facebook much)

    Good episode. It makes me feel a little better about my own cheating situation that happened last year, in that Ive been worried about my reaction to it and how healthy it was or was not, and its reassuring to hear that a lot of your considered opinions were similar things to what Ive been thinking myself.

    For me, it was more of an “emotional cheating” situation, where (to my knowledge) my partner never quite slept with the other guy, but instead she was conducting a series of romantic dates behind my back that involved a lot of physical contact.

    In some ways Im lucky not to be in Lissa’s situation, where I dont need to make a choice, since my partner ended the relationship. On the flip side, she told me she wanted to split up some time before I found out about the real situation, which caused me a lot of trouble in feeling like I was forced to be dealing with things that were already in the past.

    The interesting thing that listening to EtSDA over the past few months has got me thinking about, though, is the resulting insecurities and how those might conflict and/or relate to the Dom tendencies Im starting to discover…

    Reply

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