Confessional
Confessions of A Dirty Mind
I know a lot of you feel isolated when it comes to sexuality, especially if you have desires society doesn’t condone.
We try to promote honest, fun communication about sex, and I hope Shara and I also provide a good example. Sometimes just finding the courage to talk about it can be a challenge, but if you can muster that courage you can feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. The new page is there for you to shout from the rooftops through a cloak of anonymity. I encourage you, give it a shot.
See what it feels like to admit you’re a girl who likes girls and NOT get bashed for it. Admit you’re a guy who’d like his girlfriend to nail him with a strap on and get helpful suggestions instead of weird looks from buddies who are wondering if that makes you gay. It doesn’t, by the way.
I can assure you, because I’m really getting to know and be continually impressed with the quality of this show’s audience, that we can lend you some support even if nobody else will. My confessional offers no absolution, but only because you don’t need any. There’s no shame in acknowledging your desires, and you can admit them without acting on them.
So, especially to those of you listening from places where sexual openness can get you killed, feel free to reach through the curtain of the Dark Age and join us on this page to confess the contents of your dirty mind while your name tag says “anonymous.” I bet you feel better in the morning.
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Dear J.V. and Shara,
I would like it if you would touch on the use of collars in the following episodes concerning submission. Its a topic I’ve always been interested in, but also a little confused on. For instance, when is it appropriate to present a playmate with one?
Also, I’m genuinely curious about Shara’s collar. You mentioned before that you make a lot of your own toys, and I can’t help but wonder if you made her collar or ordered it?
Hi J.V. and Shara,
I have only recently discovered your podcast (two weeks ago) and to say that I am impressed would be a massive understatement. I am 47 years old, male and live in England. My formal sex education involved a very awkward 30 minute film in a mixed gender classroom of 13 year olds (way to late to start!) that taught us how kingfishers copulate, how many eggs they lay but nothing else. That, for the students not taking a biology course, this was all the sex education that they got goes some way towards explaining a) the high pregnancy rate amongst my peer group and b) their total fear of all things sexual – even talking about it! Other than this, my main (early years) source of information about sex was my father’s 60s/70s porn collection.
The internet subsequently broadened my horizons considerably and gave me a completely different perspective of what constituted ‘normal’. However, I didn’t have the confidence/self understanding to identify as being bisexual until I was in my early forties. How my life may have been different had ‘Ending the Sexual Dark Age’ been around when I was in my twenties! I am in a very stable and loving relationship of 18 years with the mother of my two children who is, undoubtably, the love of my life and my absolute soul mate. Whilst I am happy to say (on here at least) that I have lots of sexual desires and fantasies involving men, I could never imagine having a deep emotional connection comparable with my current or past relationships with women.
Basically, I love sucking cock and taking a mouthful of cum/facial, including my own. I have kissed a man, and may do so again, but this is not something that turns me on when thinking about it and never enters fantasies. I have been on the receiving end of an enthusiastically wielded strap-on but, even though this was extremely exciting and huge fun, I don’t feel the same compulsion to experience a real cock in my ass. I have only just come to understand that this is actually a VALID sexual identity and doesn’t mean that I am just trying to deceive anyone or have something that should be denied me as I don’t really ‘qualify’ to receive such pleasures given that I am in a mainly straight relationship. Listening to your podcast has given a much enhanced appreciation of my own sexual identity and I am really grateful to you for that.
Telling my wife (I always call her that even though we aren’t actually married) that I had bisexual fantasies was one of the most difficult decisions of my life and for a long time, and even now to an extent, she felt very insecure and threatened by this revelation. She has even said that she would find it easier if I just told her that I was gay and that we stay best friends for the sake of the children whilst bringing our own sex life to a close. This would absolutely kill me! However, she has now listened to several episodes of ETSDA, and seems keen to hear more, and I think that she is learning that maybe I’m not such a sexual freak/deviant/weirdo as she may have feared. If you help her accept me for who I am now, rather than who I was when we met almost 20 years ago, I’ll love you forever and you’ll be mentioned in my will!!
I must stop before this becomes too long for anyone to bother reading (the short ones always get read first) but I would like to say one last thing. You mentioned in your intro to episode one that parents are crap at passing on good sexual information to their children. This will take time to change and all children also seem to be in complete denial that their parents could possibly know anything about sex, even though their very existence shows that we have at least mastered the mechanics if not the more advanced subtleties of technique!
To play my part in Ending the Sexual Dark Age intend (in a year or two) give my children iPods loaded with the complete back catalogue of your podcast as I consider it to be the most complete, honest and educational sexual resource that I have ever found and I hope that it may save them the years of uncertainty and lack of self understanding that I experienced. I think there is a very good case for making listening to ETSDA part of the national curriculum in schools and leave the kingfishers alone to fuck in private for a while! Thanks again, you are both doing an astounding job.
Darren
i am a female, and i am bisexual. I am very interested in BDSM. I fantisize about being a sub but knowing my issues with trust and past relationships, i cant bring myself to be willing. during sex i am almost always the dom, even if it is casual sex, i tend to be more controling then my partner. Curently i am between partners. I havent had much experience with it, and i would love to learn more (i am following your podcasts, i am slow i just finished with number 11). I am willing to try almost anything, and everything that i have tried so far i absolutely love.
im an almost 20yr old guy
here are some of the fetishes i have:
- i am sexually attracted to the aesthetics of women’s feet and can get off solely by looking at pictures of them
- i’d like to perform anal on a woman (i am aware that the “porn way” isnt how it works in reality)
- im into bdsm (especially bondage, but also S&M) weirdly i would like to be the active part (be the one who ties up and dominates) when it comes to women but i find it sexually attractive to imagine being tied up with a dude fucking me (yes, anal) and being controlled by a dude. even though i think i dont feel physically attracted to men… now i wonder if i am somehow bisexual or even “gay in denial” – is there any way to figure that out? id be VERY INTERESTED in getting to know some stories of how some people (especially long-time married men) found out they were actually gay. could you maybe cover that in an episode (if not been done yet)? i think its a VERY important issue thats also interesting for those it doesnt concern directly
- i have a thing for sexy abs and belly buttons
- and i sexually enjoy the thought of pleasing a woman and making her cum. sometimes i get off on trying to imagine what it must feel like to have a dick deeply inserted in one’s pussy and getting fucked by it
yeah, im weird and i dont care
Herman,
Remember fantasies are simply the minds way of exploring possible options. Many things can cause extreme arousal, sometimes they truly are our desires. Others they are just fantasy.
A Domme friend of mine had a sub who was sure he wanted his dick cut off during a scene and was absolutely convinced this is what he wanted. He begged for months to have this done. They set up the room, tied him down, blindfolded him and all the while he had a horrendous hardon – HUGE I am told. They teasd him for a while then turned on the big electric say. When the saw wound up his hardon disappeared so fast they had to stick a finger up his ass and holler snake to even find it. His fantasy was satisfied as far as anyone was willing to take it (at no time was his dick really at risk).
Are you “gay in denial” straight or gay is a continum. Some people are fully in one direction but even they have some bit of ‘mmm” what is it like on the otehr side. the rest of us are somewhat in between. We may preferr to lick pussy until our girl cries out and passes out from too much pleasure but when the right cock pops into view we may try it to see if we do like it.
I know a few guys who only consider sucking a tasty tool if their woman is participating in some active sexual way as part of a 3 or more way.
Wondering how it feels to get it up the ass is a natural wonder. We like to stick our dicks in all kinds of places – pussy, ass, dresser drawers, mattresses, glory holes. Why would we not wonder if we can cum from a finger or a dick in our ass?
I guess what this ramble means is you are young, adventurous and have some discovering to do…skip the labels, follow the safer sex practices and go exploring, spelunking, yodeling,drilling submitting our what ever safely and comfortably fills your need. Just use lots of lube if you decide to have something go in the outflow tracts.
Medical Advisor
Help! I have a problem. I am having issues kicking the shit installed during my childhood society and parents and religion.
Ahh another recovering from the religions of our childhood. Understand you are not alone. Some of us are heading toward 60 and still fighting that demon. If you are considering counseling look for the AASECT website http://www.aasect.org/directory.asp to search for a qualified counselor.
Good luck in your process.
First and foremost I want to say thank J.V. and crew for giving all of us a place to explore ourselves and moreover an opportunity to relinquish our sexual restraints.
I just turned 30 and since I was 17 I’ve enjoyed orally pleasing women almost if not more than the act of sex itself. Being a man I know this may sound shocking, but I put my female partner’s sexual needs over the importance of my very own. Nothing brings me more pleasure than eating at the Y for as long as my partner can stand it. I’ve never once sold my own needs short and I’m always interested in finding new and exciting ways to please her.
I recently got engaged to a wonderful, supportive woman whom I love heart and soul. Since first listening to the podcasts, I’ve found myself greatly relieved and also very intrigued as to where all of this outstanding information will take our sexual relationship.
Glad to have you on board
I’ve become a frequent visitor to FetLife. The people have been nothing but wonderful, but I’m having trouble getting play partners for my first scene. The few people that have responded are, upon further inspection, creepy middle-aged men into things I *really* have no interest in doing, like age play and foot fetishism. And a lot of them tend to be brat subs, which I’m also not into. I tried to do the “slow fade” thing, but one guy didn’t seem to “get” it until I finally had to bluntly say I wasn’t interested. There was a guy I went as far as having what I thought was a nice conversation on the phone, but when I went to arrange a meeting, he claimed he was busy at work and I never heard from him again. Am I doing something wrong?
I must say there is some of that going on, but online may not be the best place to meet people. It is possible that your local munch may be a better option.
I am a middle-aged guy, and not generally into the scene because I am unhappy with the Dominant community overall. I don’t think that most of them have any idea what a man is, much less a dominant. Screen carefully, ask a lot of questions, and set your boundaries.
Regards,
Locke
Thank you for the advice. I actually found out that going to the page where you can put in what you’re into helped immensely with the weeding out.
Had a MMF expwrience a while back. I stayed straight the whole time but now fantasise and regret not trying out playing with the man. He held my balls from behind while I fucked her and it was pretty nice
I have been in a few MMF’s some it just seems right to be straight w/ a twist and in some it is really nice to do 69 with the guy while she is poking and probing each of us. One set of encounters I found playing with his much sweeter than playing with her…and I basically consider myself straight.
I would suggest when you set up your date and again when before activity starts have the discussion with the other male that you think you’d like to have some MM activity but you are a tad shy. If he is comfortable and starts it will be easier for you to reciprocate. Maybe have him start on you while she is riding your face. or if you are begining to suck on him have her suck your cock…from a straight perspective you don’t “feel so gay” for the early awkward stage. once you get into the activity it won;t matter what any combination of you are doing it will be enjoyable. Just remember a dick deep in your mouth the first time is likely to make you gag no matter what the movies show.
Today I came across some pictues of girls in thongs, garter belts, and matching bras while looking a product up at work. I instantly felt a tingle in my vag. It spooked me a little to have such an instant and strong reaction.
I like to look at girls. I like the waist of a girl in particular. Not sure I’d ever do anything sexual, but I like to look.
I’m in my 30s and I have been married for ten years. Serious trouble early on our marriage we learned the importance of brutal honesty, and we have great communication. There is almost nothing I feel hesitant to tell her. At some point we negociated an open relationship that can be summarized in a “don’t ask don’t tell for safer casual sex, if you’ve fucked someone more than twice, I should know, and don’t lie to me.” There’s a few more clauses that are mostly common sense.
One night, she asked me if I had ever been with a prostitute. I hadn’t. After a fun conversation, she told me that the only thing that would bother her if I was to pay for sex, is that I could easily get it for free. Not sure I agree on the ease of the endevor of getting laid, but certainly the fact that she said she wouldn’t mind me fucking a pro, kinda flipped a switch in my head that had never before been turned on. Not that much the desire of sex with someone else, but the thrill of going to a pro. I’m not sure I can explain it.
A few months ago, I went overseas to visit some friends, and decided to go to a brothel (legal there). As I had been thinking about being blown by two girls, so I decided to endulge myself. I got two girls to go up with me to one of the rooms, and spent a fun hour there. When I was back in the US, I thought that I would feel bad about it, but I didn’t. Actually, it gave me some additional footage for things to have in the background in my head when beating off, or fucking my wife. I thought, “It was fun! One time only”.
Then, two months ago my job took me to another jurisdiction where prostitution is legal. I wasn’t really thinking about going to a brothel. But walking in the surroundings of the hotel where I was staying, I saw a “massage parlor”. Later looked online and some reviews said it had some of the best looking girls in town. I went there, and indeed they did. I spent an hour with a super hot twenty few tiny little red head (though, it cost me more than the hour with the two girls a few months before).
The “Hey, have you gone to a brothel lately?” quesiton has not been part of our conversation lately, and I don’t expect it to. But for the first time in a long time, there is something I feel very uneasy about telling my wife if she ask… or even more if she doesn’t.
Before tonight, I had not had a good orgasm since before my boyfriend and I broke up…over two months ago. Granted, I had not worked too hard at it (partially due to the fact that I was sleeping in my parents living room while I visited over summer vacation
) but tonight, since I am now in my apartment with my own room, I watched some kink.com, as per Shara’s suggestion, then I broke out my vibrator, clothes-pinned my nipples, and went for it. It was the best orgasm I’d had since becoming single.
My ex and I had started getting into some light BDSM – bondage to the bed with bandanas and the occasional blindfold, switching roles, and I liked it a lot (more when I was the one tied up). What I really would have loved was to be tied up really well and have my pussy licked and fucked while I couldn’t do anything about it. I got some great orgasms when my ex was licking my pussy, but I often felt like I could have an even bigger orgasm if I let him keep going, but it almost felt like too much and I would pull him up. If I were tied up, I wouldn’t be able to pull him up and I sure as hell wouldn’t keep him from continuing. My moans get really high pitched when I’m having my pussy licked. My ex was my first sexual partner and now that I’ve had some experience, have an idea of what I like, and have now been listening to Ending the Sexual Dark Age for a while, I can’t wait for all the fun I’ll have when I find my next sexual partner.
I have several fantasies that I have always wanted to experience. The first is that I want to be a part of an orgy. I don’t know why, but I do.
I also want to be dominated, by both a man and a woman, though not at the same time. I want to be forced into doing those naughty little things I tell myself I don’t really want.
I want to be told by my dom/me to fuck a man while they watch.
I want to fuck two men at the same time and watch them fuck each other while I fuck myself with a vibrator.
And finally, I want to be blindfolded in front of a crowd of people, as my domme rubs my pussy and tells me how much she loves it when I do what she says.
That is all.
I just turned 41. I have been with my husband for 14 years and am struggling with staying faithful. I don’t want to loose my husband and family, I don’t want a divorce, I just want permission to have experiences with other people. Not just men but with women too. I have had very little experience with women but I so strongly desire to be with a lesbian. I really want to know what it would be like to be ravished by a woman who loves to be with other women. I love men and could never live my life without them or their cocks. I am finding that monogamy makes me feel trapped and sufficated. I thought that when I met “Mr. Right” all desires for others would simply fade away. I loved and had lots of sexual experiences when I was a younger woman and enjoyed them all. My husband and I have fantastic sex but that is not satisfying my craving for the touch and attention from other men/women. My husband was cheated on by his first wife….and cannot see an open relationship as an honest and fun experience for us both, he only sees it all as cheating. He is 51 and I don’t hold much hope in him working through his insecurities. He is comfortable with monogamy, me, our life and does not want to change. He is open for new sexual experiences between us but always says he can’t imagine me with another man/woman. He is willing to go to a strip bar and buy me a lap dance in order to see what he is or is not comfortable with. Maybe I would like this, but honestly very pretty women are not the kind I am attracted to (I like more butch women) and I have no fantasies about receiving a lap dance. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know how to evolve our relationship and I don’t know if I can go another 14 years denying myself any sexual experiences with other people, as the opportunities may arise….even just a kiss…I just want to be open and able to honor what may come my way. I cannot do that with a traditional, faithful, monogamy loving husband. What do I do? We have 4 kids – two older and two very young still. It kills me to think I could/would ruin all their lives if I acted on my desires without permission but a little part of me dies every time I am reminded that “this is it.” Any advice would be sincerely appreciated. Wanting to Smooch!!
I love my boyfriend to bits. We have a great sex life and have been exploring kink together. It’s wonderful. I have a problem though – my b/f is admittedly bisexual (he actually likes the term heteroflexible) and not exactly butch. I worry (an inordinate amount) that he’s going to wake up one day and realize he’s gay.
I know this is horribly unfair – I identify as bi myself. But I have trouble (thanks societal training!) with the idea of a bisexual male. Exacerbating this is that I was terribly in love with a guy years ago who thought he was bisexual. He realized one day that he was gay and dumped me. It took a long, long time to get over it. It was so hard that I can’t imagine going through it again.
How do I get past this? Frequent, mind-blowing sex hasn’t done the trick. I know, intellectually, that bi guys exist. I just can’t let go of the fear of being left for something that’s completely out of my control.
We’ll be talking about this on episode 37
Due to computer foolishness, I’ve got to bump this to episode 39. Sorry ’bout that.
when i was 16 the only man i have ever loved, ever had sex with had doubts about his sexuality. it was a very horrblie time of my life, he shut down and became distant. eventually we broke up. about 8 months later he came back to me and said he loves me. it took a long time to trust him. now we have been together for years. since we started dating at 15 and now i’m 19, when people ask how long we have been together i say 4 yrs
it took me a while to get past the idea of being left for man, it was a hard and painnful journey i think mostly because of how young i was but you have to relize that he left you because you were just not the right person for him and thats it. hope this helps
I wanted to share with you some of the most horrid sex advice I’ve ever received and I received it from my father. When I was about 8 years old my dad was driving me to my grandmothers house for a family event, half way to her house he says to me (about sex): “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do in front of your grandparents”. I was shocked and it was creepy. Later that same summer, again driving to my grandmothers house, we passed a home with a man outside that probably has multiple sclerosis, my dad looks at me and says “That’s what happens to all faggots”. Thankfully I ignored all the advice he has ever given me. FYI-my parents have been divorced since I was 2 yrs old.
Definitely creepy advice, glad you had the good judgment to ignore it. Thanks for sharing!
I’m a 36 year old virgin who has never even kissed a girl. What’s the best way for me to get in the game and experience the thrill of pleasing a woman?
Can you give me a little more background? It would help to know if you waited on purpose, or whatever brought you to this point. I’ll be able to give better advice.
I am a new listener and I listen while at work! Between you reading erotica and the bell, I get horny and laugh at my desk. An odd combination while at work! People walking by must think I’m nuts! I’ve even thought of getting an OhMiBod vibrator and hooking it up to my iphone and listen to the erotica epidsode while at home because you have a deep voice and I’m sure that would be a fun time! Oh and Shara’s breathing in the mic was sexy! Just sayin’!But I couldn’t get off at work so I came home still horny an told my husband I need you in my mouth! I didn’t get off but I was satisfied!
Anyways, just had to get that out.
I have listened to almost all of the episodes and I just wanted to say to all of these girls writing in asking about finding their cock smith, I have been there and had a dud but I am so very grateful I did! He just didn’t know what he was doing and did not listen to what I needed or wanted. So although he was a prick in our relationship he offered to try just about anything to try and get me off (although he said it was all my fault! ugh). That was when we started playing with toys, watching porn together, having him shave me, anal play, and various other things. He still was an ass and I had to leave for my own well-being and safety but I’m thankful for that time because if I hadn’t had a dud and needed to try this stuff I wouldn’t know what I love now. It could have taken me longer to discover these things about myself.
Now I’m married to a wonderful generous man who I’ve loved for years! We dated previously (before the prick, and with no sex), but stayed friends for a couple of years, then we finally admitted our true feelings were more than friends. A day later we had fucked for the first time, after two hours of foreplay, teasing, and my first orgasm with someone else, he looked at me and said you’re mine from this moment on!(I think he just loved my enthusiasm at sucking his cock! Then me squirting all over him!
)
We have now been together for 11 years, married for 6! And amazingly the sex just keeps getting better! We are adventurous and he basically will try anything I ask! Plus, he won’t even fuck me until he’s made me cum with his fingers or mouth at least once. Gotta love it! I’m still loving toys thanks to the dud but now we have kinkier things to play with, woohoo! I even make my own rope floggers thanks to the tutorial by the Two Knotty Boys and opened my own toy business! So, to all those women upset that they haven’t found their cock-smith and have duds, you can still learn a lot about yourself from those duds so don’t think too bad of them! When you’ve learned all you could, then use all your new knowledge to blow the mind or cock of a real cock-smith when you meet him! Anyways, I know I ramble but I just had to get that out! Hmmm I kinda like this confessional!
Great podcast! I’m now addicted and will keep listening!
~Cuddles~
Thanks for sharing your experience Cuddles, that’s what the confessional is here for. Don’t be a stranger
I like physical pain to an extent. Like clawing, whipping, flogging etc. to hurt a bit.
I find that when being worked over by my Master that a little extra pain is enjoyable and makes me want it more often.
I also find that when nails are dragged extremely hard against my skin by someone that I love it when it stings/burns. It not only just feels good during sex but the after affect makes me smile. It reminds me the following days of what had h appened.
Fingernails are a great tool for moderate pain play. They can’t cause real damage unless you’re really trying to and there’s a ton of latitude to play with.
Another thought: I was listening again to your advice about online dating and your advice about getting a cocksmith or training one…I’ve come to the realization that I really don’t want to train a cocksmith. I’ve tried it. I’ve even tried being gentle about it, like they suggested once in an issue of Cosmo. Either the men I’m with simply aren’t interested in pleasing me, or Cosmo is full of shit. I want a ready-made cocksmith. Is that being selfish?
1) Cosmo is hilariously full of shit. Terrible advice from women who obviously don’t understand men.
2) There’s nothing selfish about knowing what you want and going after it. Also, there’s nothing selfish about wanting sexual satisfaction and not being willing to settle for less. If that’s your path then the first thing you should do is accept that you’re probably going to have to make your way through quite a few guys to find one, so if you have any dark-age-induced hesitations about racking up some conquests you probably want to think about those long and hard.
Over time you’ll get better at spotting lousy lovers, so I say go forth and fuck as many guys as it takes to find a decent one (while being safe, of course). Happy Hunting
I always thought that Cosmo was full of shit. They make a big show of claming to be for the modern feminist-and fill their pages with makeup and clothes tips. Oh, and so they won’t be accused of being sexist, they’ll throw a bone by talking about stuff that is supposedly for your safety, like advice about date rape drugs, but is really supposed to make you feel like you’re a fucking idiot with no common sense whatsoever and ensure you don’t want to leave you house. And every year, when I see the annual Cosmo Kama Sutra, I think that whoever comes up with it ought to just write erotica and be done with it.
When does that issue come out? I might pick up a copy and see if it’s worth lampooning on the show.
I think the Cosmo Kama Sutra article is in every Febuary issue. I could be wrong. I know around this time they publish the corresponding flash cards. You can find them in the Sexuality section at your local bookstore. One position, I seem to recall, has the guy hanging off chandalier while the woman wraps herself around him.
I always laugh at the COSMO covers that have the “How to get a man to want to have sex with YOU” taglines. My thought is “Ummm… get NAKED and say YES”!??!?!?
My daughter just walked into the room when I was checking to see if the new podcast was up. She just turned 5. “Why is that guy giving away his head?” “thats wierd that he is giving his head to someone”
OMFG! LMAO!
That’s about six kinds of awesome!
Thank you JV, for answering my questions on the Viewer Mail. I joined Fet Life yesterday and so far, they’ve been nothing but nice.
In retrospect, many of the minute men I’ve dated were assholes and them disappearing was a good thing. My first date, Kinky Guy admitted to having been financially used by a Domme. Second guy, I lost my virginity to and he had the type of family disfunction that would make Jerry Springer gasp in horror. One phone call was interrupted by his stepfather trying to drunkenly fight him. He accidently hung up to defend himself and called me back to apolgize and explain.
There was a very one sided friend with benefits situation in between Two and Three.
Third Guy, we went on two dates and he turned out to be a whiny bitch. The second date he brought he sister along and we slept overnight at her house. I guess he was on the fence and his sister was there to give her judgement and I failed in her eyes.
Fourth Guy, I actually met offline-he picked me up at a video game store and asked for my number-he turned out to be an emotionally abusive slacker. I “dated” him for three
weeks. The last straw came when he demanded I move in with him-and told me I couldn’t talk or text him until I got a job. This time, I was the one who stopped calling him.
Rational Me knows it was a good thing, but Inner Critic Me scolds me for not trying harder to keep them interested. Well, at least the first three. Rational Me and Inner Critic Me both agree Four was a bad idea.
You mentioned trying to find munches in the area. What if you live with your parents and they’re not kink positive people? What if mom drives you to social events? Do I give a bullshit explanation for why I’m going to a munch?
In regards to munches they are usually at a public place like a restaurant or bar where people can meet without arousing too much suspicion. Usually you would if you were new you’d ask where the “internet” group was sitting and then head on over. Unless your mom is going to come in with you I’d just tell her that you are meeting friends at the location.
I know that munches are at public places and all. But what if the resturants or bars are places I can’t afford to go to?
That’s going to be a little tough, but they’re not likely to be happening anywhere that’s particularly expensive. Munches are all about being inclusive, so the organizers don’t want to price people out of being able to attend. At a bar there’s nothing wrong with staying sober (thus keeping the tab down). Most of the munches I’ve been to were held at family restaurant type places.
So, I used to be a real sex addict. All fun a few years. However, I fell into a sexual slump. I still am in a sexual slump. I get horny often. I masturbate every day or sometimes go over a month without it. Sex seems to have the same pleasure as taking a huge dump. It feels good as it’s happening; it feels great for up to five minutes afterward. Then, I couldn’t care less. I’ve tried toys, different positions, different time amounts… Nothing seems to change.
I guess this girl is just going to be sex addict free. I think I’m okay with that seeing as I am no longer in a relationship and don’t have to worry about having sex to please a partner. That seems like a good plan…
Vi,
I think it’s GREAT if you have a partner you WANT to please but I think it’s most important that YOU enjoy sex for yourself first. Whether I play all by myself or with JV, I ALWAYS make sure I am being pleased. If I’m not in the mood to do a blow job then it might not please JV as much as when I’m in the mood. I get so wet sometimes that JV tells me I’m the wettest pussy in town. I have to say it’s because I LOVE sex and I get wet just thinking about having sex with him. But we stir it up a lot and that makes it even more fun.
Hopefully soon you will enjoy playing with yourself and finding yourself while you play. ENJOY being with you!
Shara
I’m going to talk about this on a listener mail show soon because I think it’s worthy of more attention than I can give in a comment. Did anything unusual or significant happen in your life when the slump started?
I hate to admit this here but I promised when we started this that no matter what I would give 100% honesty even if it meant I might get punished if not doing what I’m supposed to do. I was and still am responsible for our sex diary in which I have only written in once. I thought it was a great idea and still do but haven’t had time to write in it. I think I should be very responsible in this area as I do believe it is a great idea. Now, JV has to approve all things written here so he will know and I squirm in my seat as I write this.
Fingers crossed he’ll go easy on me as he knows how busy I have been.
Shara
If you recall, I was skeptical in the first place
I am not a man who takes it up the ass but my Mistress tells me the next time we get together some fun is going to happen to my ass. I am going to lose my ass virginity while her sub sucks my cock and I suck him.
I have sucked cock occasionally and enjoyed the activity. I was in a threesome with a couple and found him and his cock sweeter than she was – kinda surprised me. IT was fun having her suck my cock while she was getting fucked up the ass though.
In another play time I was on the floor with a pussy on my face and unexpectedly got to watch her give her top a blowjob. Don’t often get to see a mans balls from below like that!
So back to my predicament….I wake up from sleep with a blazing hard-on thinking about all this happening and have to bet my cock senseless to get back to sleep. Not some thing this ‘mostly’ straight ass virgin guy usually thinks about…..Now I gotta get that scheduled.
Sometimes just the thought of what is going to happen to me makes me soaking wet (I know, I know, JV will say, “It would be easier just to list the things that don’t make you wet”! Enjoy!
Oh, so true.
Before I die I want to be in a orgy. I don’t care when, shit I could be 90 using a walker, but its gotta happen.
The above isn’t a confession its a proclamation
Enthusiasm is half the battle, and the right pile of naked people can be a memory that keeps you warm on the darkest, rainiest nights.
The first date I went on was with a guy who was kinky. He asked me to order him around and I liked it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t for him and I never heard from him again. Afterwards, I started reading books on bdsm and realised I hadn’t negotiated properly. D’oh!
We all stumble with kink in the beginning. I was experimenting long before I realized there was a “community” out there at all. Live, learn, try again
A question: what do I do about the vanilla guys who think when I mention the kinky guy assume that I’m into the bdsm you see in the movies? How do I let him down?
I mean by that, I should add, the guys who hear about the kinky guy and assume I’m gonna whip out the ball gag and the riding crop right then and there. I know this by the leering or creeped out expressions on their faces (or, if on the phone, the sound of them struggling to come up with something to say). I’m not ashamed of my only time with Kinky Guy, it’s just that I don’t want guys to get the wrong impression of me. Any thoughts?
Hey Psyche,
I think your solution here is pretty simple. Notch back how much you tell new guys about past kinky experiences, and just tell them you’re curious and you tried dominating a guy once and liked it. That puts the issue on the table, but at the same time tells him you’re not an expert and you’re still getting a handle on what you want. You could even leave out the one experience altogether and just say it’s something you fantasize about. That will give you the freedom to start from scratch with someone new.
I secretly want to se my gf get gangbanged by myself and two other guys. I love her to death and she is such a good nasty slut for me. I think it would make me go crazy to see her slut it out for other dudes. Idk y but here it is
I think you’ll enjoy the Group Sex episode
I’m gonna suprize a lot of people by saying this, but I hate sex. I wasn’t raped or anything. It’s just that my few experiences have been horrible. I meet a guy over the internet, we eventually exchange numbers, and at some point, unbidden, the guy starts talking dirty. I don’t like it because all I want to do is date and maybe, if so inclined, sleep together. I don’t like where it goes, but I’m too polite to hang up.
Then we meet and it leads to horrible, five-second sex. He then decides he’s “too busy” to contact me anymore and I never hear from him again. But as awful as sex with a person is, I have had great, mindblowing sex with myself. Once I came so hard that I fell asleep for two hours. Is there something wrong with me?
Online dating presents some unique challenges that I’m going to cover in (you guessed it) an episode dedicated to online dating. In short, you end up talking with people and exchanging a lot of personal info before you ever meet and determine if there’s any real chemistry. You get invested in the relationship before you find out if there’s a spark, and when there isn’t one it’s even more disappointing because of the time you’ve put in.
There’s nothing wrong with you. If you’re able to get yourself off hard enough to pass out, your brain and body are in sync sexually. The challenge is finding a playmate with the patience to learn how to push your buttons, and unfortunately that’s a challenge for everyone. It might help to be blunt about your desires earlier.
I’m going to put this on deck for an upcoming listener mail.
Holy crap! are you my long lost twin! I would MUCH rather fuck myself! I can give ME mind blowing orgasms just by rubbing my clit! I am 35 and have not had an orgasm that was supplied by a partner since I was 15! And I don’t count the ones I had when I was about 18, I did those too, he just layed there! I am married and we have a kid so I can’t really go out there and search for my perfect sexual partner by fucking anything that moves, can I? So very unhappy…
My fantasy is tying up a woman, tightly, with her legs spread, and fucking her with a dildo while stimulating her clit with a vibrator, until her brain turns to mush.
This is a totally achievable fantasy. Most women are pretty happy to go along with anything that involves making them come until their brains turn to mush.
It makes me SO hot to give head, my pussy swells and juices flow. My boyfriend LOVES it ….. but my fantasy that I have never told anyone is I want to fucked from behind while I am sucking dick. I think it would take me over the edge!! Sometimes it seems as if I could even have an orgasm from giving head… OK, it’s time to go get out a toy!! BTW – love the Pornoglyphs
I think you should tell your boyfriend…he might be as hot about it as you ar…he might enjoy watching you either suck someone elses’ cock or watch you getting fucked while giving him head. My pussy swells and juices flow as well…although…I think mine is like that 24/7…lol
Let us know!
Shara
I am involved in a virtual world community and run a school for submissives in world. Trick is while I am male, in the community I am female and have been for several years. Just the other day one of my girls told me that she was certain I was female in RL because I was too good a lover to be male. And this girl (I know for a fact she is Real Life female) is very hetrosexual so I must be doing something right anyway
Definitely
I’ve always thought it would be hot to have a girl give me head under the table in a restaurant.
That’s an experience I’ve never had either, though I agree it would probably be really hot. Note to self: Start taking Shara to dimly lit restaurants with floor-length tablecloths.
The hard part is finding a place with floor-length tablecloths.
See how wet you made me…lol. I’ve never done it either now that I think about it…ready to go dining!!! ~blush~ whew…no bell during this blush!
Shara
DING
LOL…have to LOVE that “Ding”
Shara
I have always been turned on by the thought of sex outdoors, partly from the openess and natural-ness of it, also the potential thrill of being caught?
There’s something absolutely primal about sex in the rain. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s like communing with nature through every bone in your body.
Totally have to agree with you on that one J.V. Probably some of the best sex I ever had was with my husband (then lover) in the bed of his pickup truck, on a little dirt road in the middle of the forest in Germany, in the drizzling rain. It was so hot that the rough wool blanket we snagged from his barricks to keep warm was needed!
My assignment is to write on this before the end of the day telling something I have never shared with anyone else…that confession. Okay, well, I have become quite close with many wonderful women since the podcast….a few I have yet to meet. Someone I have yet to meet, I think about often. I’ve seen pictures of her and find her to be absolutely beautiful, inside and out. She is brutally honest but always diplomatic, she is caring but doesn’t necessarily wear her heart out on her sleeve, she is strong yet has that soft side to her. So, one night as I lay my head in the arms of JV I fell asleep and I awoke realizing I had a dream that her and I had a very sexual moment together and realized just how wet I was from that dream…soaking wet that is and that still puts a smile on my face.
Thank you for the wet dreams and hope you don’t hold it against me…it’s truly a compliment as not many women enter my dreams where I see their face and know exactly who they are. (Kept your name off of here to protect you…the innocent) ~giggle~ ~blush~
shara
Good girl
Thank you Sir ~smile~
Shara
Okay, I thought this was Erin until I saw the word ‘diplomatic’ – you can’t possibly be talking about her…
/laughs
I’ve always seen Erin as one of beauty and knowing how she loves to dance makes her even more enticing …. how can anyone resist you two. But since you didn’t really ask me who it was I guess I’m safe in not having to answer!
I think I will go to your blog and catch up on everything as of late!
~blush~ with a ~smirk~
Shara
OK, so WHO is it??!!!!!!
We’re waiting!!!
Who is it?!?!
My fantasy is to be sandwiched between two men, one fucking my arse, the other my pussy.
And – to “anon” – I would throughly recommend introducing the boyfriend to a strap-on.
That fantasy is way more popular among you girls than most people realize. Makes me proud
Yes it is
I’m sure Shara thinks about it all the time too. Nothing like being in the middle of two great looking men that are taking care of your every desire!
YES, I do! ~giggle~
DING!
I was at an outdoors fetish event where a young lady asked for this…she got 5 guys. One for each hole and one for each hand. I’m not sure she ever lost her smile and all six of us got off thank you.
Some ladies have all the luck…lol
Shara
Well if you end up in my city in January of 12 as JV mentioned we can find a way to include you in the lucky group JV willing of course.
DING!!
I ran into a similar situation once, I think it took her an hour to come down out of subspace. Ah, memories. I’ve got enough to keep me warm at night forever, and I’m not nearly done yet
Good Keep on keeping on.
I like manga/anime and enjoy watching some hentai. Sometimes when masturbating I imagine we are anime characters.
I can totally see that. I used to play WoW and there’s some excellent fan-porn out there.
I have alot of sexual fantasies of fucking my boyfriend (hard) with a strap-on while he fucks another girl. Then him pulling out and cumming all over her while I’m still fucking him.
Me or someone else using a strap-on on my boyfriend is a bigger turn on than I thought.
Next time you’re blowing him try playing with his ass a little and see what his reaction is. One step at a time
I agree with JV, oddly enough I have introduced 2 different “completely straight” guys to strap on’s, and the response was always great!
Hi I like to lick pussy a lot! And some times when very excited I will lick it after I’ve come up it, if she has not finished yet. I love to make her come on my tongue it’s the best!
I’m an anime/manga fan, and sometimes when my boyfriend fucks me I imagine his cock is a giant tentacle. ESPECIALLY when we’re doing doggy.