136 Responses to “Confessional”


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  1. anon

    i love it when i’m so hard it feels like i’m bursting and she sucks my dick and I see it going in and out of her mouth and looks like it’s really filling it up and then 69 and get her really wet and flip her over tie her hands behind her and bind her ankles then suck her toes and spank her and fuck her from behind while pulling her hair and toying with her asshole

  2. BJenn

    Okay, so here’s a dilemma I’m having. I’m new to exploring my sexuality in any kind of intentional way, and I don’t know how to go about doing that when I don’t have a serious play partner at the moment. I “accidentally” discovered my desire for BDSM play with an ex, but since then I haven’t had any experiences that feed my sexual soul so-to-speak. I’ve had plenty of good sex, but nothing outside the vanilla scene…maybe French Vanilla at best. I know, it’s tragic just writing it. Anyway, my question is how can I connect with people, how do I find out about these munches I keep hearing about, etc. when I don’t currently know anyone in the scene. Given recent security issues with a certain popular kink website, I am extremely hesitant to create an account there. What are my other options? I’ve looked into MeetUp, but there aren’t any kink groups listed there within 50 miles of where I live. I’m at a bit of a loss here and more than a little sexually and kink frustrated at this point. I’m finally willing to explore sexuality on my terms after doing some tough work deprogramming some nasty religious nonsense and tomfoolery, but I’m not having much luck so far finding local people to do that with. Any thoughts? Thanks!

  3. Sixty and Sexy

    I’m feeling pretty intimidated posting this, but I really desire some good feedback, so here goes:

    I am an attractive woman in her sixties, mother of five grown kids, grandmother, and wife of the same man for 39 years. Both my husband and I come from very strict religious backgrounds. My grandfather was a pastor and my husband’s father was a pastor. That should tell you something. I have always been interested in relationships and keeping mine healthy with my husband and my kids. I love the phrase “a healthy relationship is a high maintenance relationship. Not in the form of neediness, but in the form of learning to communicate honestly.

    Several years ago we left the church (thank God) and shortly after that our only son came out as gay while in high school. These two things shook our world views and belief systems – and I’m so glad they did. Consequently I have opened the door to explore sexuality by listening to pod casts, reading books that are both informational about sex and erotic fiction. I have opened the door to communicate about sexuality with my husband and my kids – and it has been scary and also great fun.

    What I would like to hear some advice on is what to do when my sexuality goes further then what my husband feels comfortable with. I have opened the conversation to some topics that have made him pretty uncomfortable and been able to do it in a supportive way. I have introduced new things to the bedroom. Believe it or not, our first shower together was a year ago. I bought a massage table and have given him sensuous massage. Both he and I have introduced new positions. I’ve become bolder in asking for what I want and verbalizing during sex. The conundrum is that I basically initiate any change that takes place and my heart’s desire is to have him initiate some new things and touches without me having to orchestrate (carefully, due to not wanting to overwhelm him).

    When I read about bdsm, the most appealing part is the open communication about what both partners are wanting and being very specific about it. I still feel like I have to tiptoe very carefully around expressing my sexual desires so I don’t blow my husband away. The other thing about bdsm is when the Dom takes charge and makes things happen. In our relationship that has fallen to me and I don’t want to be the Dom.

    I realize he can’t read my mind – so I ask for what I want most of the time. But I would LOVE him anticipating my desires instead of needing the coaching.


  4. Jess

    I just started listening to the podcast and can’t get enough of it. I’ve made it to episode 19 in two days. I plan on working my way through the homework with my boyfriend very soon. I can’t wait to start.

    I am a 26 year old woman that is only just starting to explore my sexuality. I’ve always been pretty shy and had no Sexual experience through high school. My first partner and I didn’t have very good communication and I never enjoyed Sex with him. I always felt it was more of a hassle than anything else. Needless to say neither of us was really happy and we ended things with no hard feelings on either side.

    Fast forward a couple years, and I’ve been seeing my current boyfriend for five months now and the communication is great. The Sex is super fantastic as well. I had always fantasized about being tied up during our play time, as well as other things in the realm of BDSM. My boyfriend has been very willing to take part in my fantasies and the list of kinky things that I like is just getting longer by the day.

    While my boyfriend enjoys dominating me l, he is much more of a Switch than I am and he would like me to turn the tables every now and then. I have no problems with the idea, actually I find it very hot. The problem is that I’m a very quiet person by nature and am having trouble being dominant. I am wondering if anyone has any advice on getting more confident in this area. I want to be able to fulfill my boyfriend’s fantasies just like he does mine.


    • just keep in mind that he wants you to do it. if you need a couple glasses of wine to loosen up that I suggest to do it and just let go one night. you’ll see the happiness on his face and you’ll feel so good about doing it it will come naturally overtime and get easier. and a whole lot kinkierif thats what you guys like. I am 45 years old and is taking me since just two years ago to really let loose with my vibrators and sex toys with my encounters with men. now I think holy crap I wasted all of that time and now it just comes naturally and I just don’t care what they think I whip it out and it turns every single one of them on.

  5. Cowboy

    Over the past few months when ever I try to have sex with my girlfriend she stops me complaining that I stink. Working on a cattle ranch, I admit that I can work up a healthy sweat and manure does tend to get on me, it has been an issue on occasion. I have showered before I go see her, slathered on the pit stick, used cologne that used to drive her wild, showered immediately before we get ready to fuck, I have even changed my diet in an attempt to solve this odor issue. Nothing helpe. But on a recent outing with my buddies to the Rodeo I was complimented on my smell by three different women, yet when I got home started trying to warm her up, back rub, kisses, all my little tricks to get her in the mood, she stopped me and said I smell terrible. Now I’m concerned and more than a little frustrated, I talked my doctor and she said the next step is a full body scrub, the type they do prior to surgery, I have asked her what the smell is like and she shrugs saying bad, I’m starting to wonder if she has been cheating on me…

    Advice, comments?


  6. TNA

    Hi, I just discovered your podcast and I’m working my way through all the episodes. Thank goodness you’re out there! I’ve listened to 30 episodes and agree with EVERYTHING you’re saying! I can’t believe someone out there is speaking for me and what I’m thinking.
    Just wanted to add my little confession which I haven’t heard you talk about yet. I love licking, biting & sucking my wife’s asshole. I get hard just thinking about it day and night, and even after I’ve just cum – I want to do it some more. My ultimate thrill is to open that bugger up, and get my tongue right up her butthole as far as it will go. Unfortunately, although she gives me full access to her backside basically any time I want, she will not relax it enough to let me get in there. What a shame! But I’ve given her fair warning, I’m not going to stop trying, even if it takes wine, flowers, more wine, candy, more wine, whatever. One day, her ass will be mine! !
    BTW, TNA does not stand for Tits ‘n’ Ass :)

  7. Caged Wolf

    First off I really appreciate the pod casts. You guys give a lot of great information as well as a lot of entertaining banter and I wish the best for both of you! I am a 23 year old female in a steady relationship of 5 years. My boyfriend has taken me from a sheltered christian girl with basically no sexual knowledge or experience whatsoever to a slut who is quite willing to beg for it… and I am beyond grateful! (Much to the dismay of my family) While overall I am incredibly happy with him and the relationship, my exploration into bdsm has left both of us somewhat frustrated. It started out that I had asked him to start getting rougher. At this time I had no idea anything like bdsm existed, I just naturally felt I wanted to be held down, smacked, and have my hair pulled. He knew a bit about bdsm and so as one thing lead to another, I became excited about and fascinated with it. Up till this point it all was going great. The problems arose when I, in my excitement, started eating up all the information I could find and within a few months far surpassed his knowledge. He offered me a collar and I jumped for it head over heels assuming he knew as much if not more than I did when in reality, he didn’t even fully know what the collar represented. Its been 2 years since then and while somehow we’ve managed to work some form of a d/s relationship out, I have a desire for so much more. The problem is, he’s not as much of a Dom as he thought he was. If there’s too much articulation required or if I show any major signs of pain, he gets turned off very quickly. While he likes to take advantage of the fact that I will do pretty much anything he wants, he has no desire to push my limits and often the only time he puts his foot down when he wants me to do something, its more along the lines of chores which if I don’t do, I’m rarely reprimanded for. I have talked to him about it, and he admits he doesn’t really have an interest in taking it further. I decided to try and explore his kinks a bit in hopes of finding something we both like, but the few kinks he has that he knows of are literally impossible to recreate. A lot of people tell me to just leave him and find a good Dominant but I love him far too much for that. He has suggested that we try searching outside our relationship. While morally I am far beyond where I was in my christian days, I’m not sure I will ever be able to be in anything but a monogamous relationship. There was one time where for my benefit he tried to break off the relationship and just have casual sex. I ended up in a sobbing mess every time we tried and it wasn’t long until we ended up back together. I’ve been fine ever since, but somehow just feel lacking. Do you think this has something to do with brainwashing from christianity or are there just people who literally can’t be with someone outside a relationship? Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated!

  8. Levi

    I have literally been trying this BDSM for about 2 weeks now and my wife wants it to be all the time public and private. She wants a collar so I ordered a custom collar she can wear all the time with a engraved padlock on it. I am listening to your podcasts like crack to try to catch up on my own learning curves because she has wanted this for a long time and secretly learned about it. She has never been with anyone but me ever and on the 28th were going to our first night out as her master or whatever. I am not 100% confident in my own abilities to be a DOM in public. Any advice on what I should or shouldnt do inside one of these fetish clubs to not look like an idiot.

    • Check out episode 19 where we talk about fetish clubs, and don’t let yourself be pushed too far too quickly. She’s looking for you to take control, and sometimes that’s going to me she has to wait for something she wants. Remind her that you’re catching up to her, and just keep at it. Don’t do anything in public you haven’t done in private, the additional pressure isn’t going to help.

  9. lovabaize

    my husband love when I fuck he with monster strapon; He everyytime eat my lovers’ cum

  10. WannaShare

    I’m very interested in sharing my wife with other men. We’ve been married for 20+ years and I have told her that I want to watch her fuck someone else. She indulges me with dirty talk when we are having sex, but she says she would never do that outside of fantasy. The trouble is that she gets VERY turned on by the idea during sex, so I think that the desire is hidden inside of her. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on an upcoming podcast regarding getting her to open up to this possibility. I really have no serious desire to be with other women, I just REALLY get off on seeing her get off! I LOVE to see her flirting with other men (which she rarely does) and often fantasize about her dancing and groping them while I watch. The thought of fucking her after someone has filled her pussy with cum is a big turn-on as well. Sorry for all the kink…please offer some advice on this topic, maybe some baby-steps to try to get her to the deep end of the pool. Again, I think she is interested (despite what she says) and just needs to be released.

  11. Emsilly

    I’ll start off by saying that I’m 19, grew up in a christian home, have ALWAYS been shamed for being a normal, sexual being. A couple years ago I discovered that the internet was a great place for me to explore my sexuality. Recently I have been considering being a cam girl. I don’t have a job right now and I could really use the money. Seeing as I get naked online anyways, it’s a bonus to get paid. So here’s my problem. I am still living with my mom and am seriously afraid of her (and other family members/friends) finding out. I can’t stand it when people tell me i’m not respecting myself and act like i’m a desperate piece of shit. I LIKE getting naked online. It’s a fun thing to do. Any advice on how to go about telling people should I choose to do so?

    P.S. I fucking love you guys and you have helped me continue to be comfortable with my sexuality.


  12. psyche

    I’m a straight woman who likes to go online and look up free porn and spank the monkey, or whatever the female equivalent is. Problem is that I find straight porn unappaealing. I can read a love scene between a man and woman and get turned on no problem but videos of a man and woman Doing It turn me off. I suspect it has something to do with the fact I find monster cocks-like the kind on most male porn stars-to be frightening. I see a giant cock and I think, there’s no way in hell you’re sticking me with that thing!

  13. Harlot

    About a year and a half ago I started working at a company that employs just as many men as women. This was very new to me as prior to this job I worked in female dominated professions. I’m a 38 year old woman who has never been married nor do I have any children. Well, working at this place has done wonders for myself esteem. I never realized how men responded to me before working here. Due to my age and life experience, I never took any of the come ons too seriously. Honestly, the place is like a meat market. About 3 months ago I was promoted to a very small, specialized department. There are 2 men and 5 women that I work with in this department. Not longer after the promotion, one of the men started pursuing me. He’s 42, married, has 3 children, and no intention of leaving his wife. He made it clear that he just wanted sex. I was fine with this. I’ve been with a married man before. Outside of sex, I wouldn’t have any interest in him anyway. He’s cute and has a pretty nice body but he’s uber preppy. Preppy as in “I’m going to play a round of golf and then go to a Mitt Romney fundraiser” preppy. I was actually quite shocked when he pursued me as vigorously as he did. I’m a rockabilly gal with alot of ink. I look like the complete opposite of his wife. We’ve been together a few times and he’s a great lover. He’s very, very sensuous to the point where he’s almost delicate. I love the way he touches me and the way he eats my pussy. He’s pretty repressed, though, but I’m working on getting him to open up little by little about what he wants sexually. In the meantime, I had always had a crush on the man who recommended me for my new position. He’s 32, tall, and has the most beautiful lips I have ever seen on a man. He was my operations manager at the time of my recommendation. And while I definitely worked very hard for my promotion, I know without him, the recommendation would have never been there. We’ve always had a flirtation with eachother but he, too, is married. The other day, however, I said “fuck it” and emailed him my phone number. He responded almost immediately. Basically, he told me that while his marriage isn’t completely open, he and his wife have both had their extracurricular activities with and without eachother. He definitely very experienced and very kinky. And I love it! As with boyfriend #1, I know that boyfriend #2 will not leave his wife for me. I have no stupid romantic notions. Bf #2 knows about bf #1 and there’s no issue. Bf #2 doesn’t believe in mongamy and neither do I. I intend to tell Bf #1 about bf #2 on our next date and I’m sure there will be no problem either. I’m not out to play any games. I am very discrete with both of them as I don’t want any of us to lose our jobs and I’m not a homewrecker. Both men have expressed interest in something long term. My friends that know of my situation have been everything from repulsed by my behavior to thinking I’m a rockstar. However, I can’t explain to any of them that this is truly what I want. Every since puberty when I started to have sexual fantasies I always fantasized about having 2 lovers. I like being single and having my own space. I’m not interested in having children. I finally have what I’ve always wanted sexually and I’m tired of trying to explain it or apologize for it! Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

  14. Newboy

    I am attracted to cocks as a kind of idol of sexuality but have no interest in guys. I pretty much just get off on sexuality of almost any kind even if Im not interested in having hands on time with it. Thats why I dont say Im bi. Feels like Im lying to everyone.

  15. Newboy

    I suck my own cock and have a weakness for showing off on cam sites. I feel stupid for doing it on cam sights cause I’m worried about showing up on vid sites. I’ve admitted to doing it in the past but nobody really knows that I still do it and practice to get better.

  16. Anonymous For Now

    I’ve just started listening to the podcast yesterday and I’m finding it both interesting and entertaining. It has made me think about my own sexuality a bit and this page seems like a good place to express that.

    I’m 25, male, bisexual, and I’ve always considered myself a bit of a sub but wasn’t really sure what that meant to me. After listening to the first 15 or so episode, I’m now fairly sure I’m a sub. My wife and I met late in high school, both hetero-virgins but she had experience with all girl naked time in the past. For a while we had a good domme/sub relationship, with her leading me through all of my first sexual experiences. I acted as a dom a few times once my education was up to speed, she really enjoys it but its mostly just awkward for me and usually ends in dropping the act and reverting to vanilla sex.

    My wife went through a fairly serious depression and our sex life naturally took a fairly big hit. A while after her depression ended, my own depression began and has taken a big turn for the better with the birth of our daughter a few months ago.

    Anyway, thats my story so far (just the story, not the deep dark desires the sexual confessional is here for… I don’t think I’m ready to voice them yet). I am wondering if my wife is as much a sub as I am, and that’s why we haven’t really “progressed” any further than we have in the bedroom. Anyone have any thoughts? Maybe one day I’ll own this post as mine, but for now…
    Anonymous For Now

  17. E and B

    I must say that I have really been enjoying your show and I have picked up some very useful information that I have added to my bag of tools. I have a concern that I could use some advice on by someone still in the BDSM scene, but I must give you some background info that is pertinent.
    First I have always been a very sexual person and have always been fascinated with BDSM and other forms of kink. Early on I met my first wife who was equally interested in experiencing it as well and it became a part of our normal routine. I was her Dom and she seemed to love it and even asked for things that were hard limits for me (rape play). Unfortunately being in the military I found out she still liked to play even while I was away so that marriage didn’t last very long. Having been married since I was very young I took my lifestyle with me to college and being a 23-24 year old in college let me say that it wasn’t hard to find lots of things to do. That lasted a couple years and then I re-entered the military.
    Fast forward a few years and I met my current wife whom I love beyond anything I could have imagined. When we first started dating, we pretty much stuck with vanilla with a few sides of kink, nothing too bad. She seemed to really enjoy it and then one day it all changed. My wife when she was young had been severely sexual assaulted and all of a sudden we are dealing with severe PTSD. I had to repress all my dom behaviors because at the time it was too much for her.
    Now here we are 16+ years later and with all the hype about the book FSoG and the others in the series she wants to explore this again and I am worried. I am not sure if this is a great idea or not. I put a lot of that behind me so I am a bit out of practice myself. I have read the books and thought all the scenes, sans one or two, were pretty plane compared to things I have done. I am currently deployed to the Middle East and I worry that it is the absence that is driving all this but I am very excited and that is putting it mildly. We have talked about taking baby steps one small step at a time. We still deal with issues with her PTSD especially how it has affected her self-image. I believe that this might be the best thing for her as long as we take it slow and proceed with a lot of caution. Am I just completely out of the ball park? This is really new territory for me and I would like some advice on what you think about it and maybe how you would proceed? Thanks again for your Pod casts I have found them all very enjoyable. Thanks for taking the time to read my novel….lol

  18. HelenaJane

    I just wanted to let both of you (Shara and J.V.) know how much I appreciate what you both are doing. As a 27 year old female who, for reasons cliched and old, am just now starting to face my own sexuality, I am finding courage in your podcasts. I also love the “Shara’s blushing” bell, mostly because I usually am right there with her; in the middle of my busy office blushing a lovely shade of red, headphones jammed in my ears. Keep up the amazing work guys.

  19. Hate eating pussy

    My confession : I’m a guy who HATES to go down on women. In the past, I’ve tried many different women and I’ve never enjoyed it. Even with flavored lube or mouth guards. I secretly hate it. After so many times, I stopped. I just refuse to do it. I don’t like the feeling of it against my tongue. I also really don’t like the smell and the taste. Even if there is only a faintest hint of a smell. Doesn’t matter, it’s an immediate turn off for me. It also doesn’t matter if the women are clean shaven, I still can’t enjoy it. My wife luckily doesn’t mind. She is clean shaven, smells and tastes better than others I’ve had but, I still don’t like it. In all our years together, I think I’ve gone down on her twice. Both times I gave it a shot, I did not make her cum. Since she also didn’t really enjoy the experience either time we just never bothered with it after that. She blows me constantly though and we both really enjoy that. It has become a daily thing we both look forward too all day. I know it is unfair to get so many awesome blow jobs yet refuse to drop but I just can’t stand doing it. I also worry that she won’t enjoy being a “test subject” to see if I can make it through to finish her off. Those two times just left her feeling frustrated as I was also too annoyed and frustrated to finish her off with sex. So she got licked with no happy ending at all. She said she wasn’t mad and let me try again once more but same result. So we just never talked about it or tried it again. Any advice on baby steps to start enjoying pussy eating?

    • Need to think about this a bit, but I’ll get it in queue for an upcoming episode.

    • Carlos Sanchez

      Try in the shower with her standing and the water running down her pussy play with it at 1st until u can build this urge to lick look her in the eyes and do it fast then go back to just playing with it u will see her excitement and if u love her u will get just as excited and want to do it ones more hope this works bye

  20. Anna

    I had no idea how sexually boring and repressed I was until finding this show. My husband and I feel like teenagers exploring a brave new world of naughty naughty things. :) I never enjoyed the delights of oral sex before yesterday and am completely amazed. I never shaved my pussy either. That was a fun and horrible experience all in one. All we own is a straight razor. I always felt like a bad ass shaving my legs with an old school straight razor. However, it is fucking scary taking a knife to my delicate flower. I tried, then my husband tried, then we thought about going to the hospital because of all the blood. Then we bought a regular razor that pivots and has lube built in. That cleaned up the long hairs and should do a good job on the rest after I heal. I am thoroughly embarrassed but now know why a shaved pussy is more of a modern thing.

  21. Arthur H

    Hi I’m 56 and have always had a thing for pantyhose on me or my wife. They are so fucking sexy! I’ve had this obsession since my early teens. Since I’m only on episode 22 I don’t know if you have covered this topic. I would definitely be interested in a pantyhose episode as well a one on aging and sex. I am very very low on available testosterone and am forced to take medication to raise my T. If I stop my drug I am literally a eunuch with no drive or erections. Ironically my wife is also on female hormones and sometimes has trouble getting interested. It’s sucky with no fucky and we are sometimes both to blame. I enjoy your show and can HARD-ly wait to get to the most current episode! Keep up the good work!

  22. Lexie

    Recently I have lost alot of weight and suddenly it’s like a switch has been turned on. My libido is in overdrive and it’s kind of making my husband nervous. Since we have great communication, I have told him things that I have thought about, like what I think the faces of random strangers would look like cumming. The problem is although we have done swinging briefly years ago and I had a “second husband” a few years ago, it’s like now I am judging myself by how many potential partners I can keep on the hook. Any suggestions so I don’t drive myself crazy?

    • We’ll talk about this on episode 49 or 50 :)

    • Silversurfer

      I: Male 39 years old. I myself have lost 25 kg and are now in excellent shape (82 kg – 192 cm). I can really say I feel much more sexy and I would really like to play with my new toy – my body – it makes me feel more horny and a stud when I fuck my lovely fiancee. Sex in front of a mirror is a turn on for both of us. The first 20 kg was lost in 5 kg increments with Very Low Calorie Diets, afterwards I begun eating a diet consisting of more protein and low-glycemic carbs (after this study http://www.diogenes-eu.org/). I then begun training with a method called “1 set to failure” (see method here http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/timothyf.htm) combined with 10-20-30 interval training (http://www.ifi.ku.dk/Forskning/projekter/integreret_fysiologi/10-20-30/om_projektet/) on a rowing machine or stepmaster which have given me massive muscle growth and loose even more. My fiancee is very happy with the result and it makes her so horney to feel my stomach and breast muscles while we fuck each others brains out. We have made a pact to both exercise and eat well the rest of our lives to keep the attraction between us. We have made a love-contract where we have stated this (among other things). I can highly recommend this route. After I lost the weight and begun training and eating “correctly” there is enough room to eat sweets and cakes every other day. If you want exact instructions – write to me. P.S. Looks isn’t everything but it surely counts.

  23. Psyche

    I’m a little embarassed to admit this, but I write fanfiction and whenever I write a sex scene, I get turned on. The problem is that I’m writing this fanfiction at my local library and the moment I finish, I want to go into the bathroom and masterbate in the stalls.

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  25. Faye D.

    Dear J.V. and Shara,

    I would like it if you would touch on the use of collars in the following episodes concerning submission. Its a topic I’ve always been interested in, but also a little confused on. For instance, when is it appropriate to present a playmate with one?

    Also, I’m genuinely curious about Shara’s collar. You mentioned before that you make a lot of your own toys, and I can’t help but wonder if you made her collar or ordered it?

  26. Darren

    Hi J.V. and Shara,
    I have only recently discovered your podcast (two weeks ago) and to say that I am impressed would be a massive understatement. I am 47 years old, male and live in England. My formal sex education involved a very awkward 30 minute film in a mixed gender classroom of 13 year olds (way to late to start!) that taught us how kingfishers copulate, how many eggs they lay but nothing else. That, for the students not taking a biology course, this was all the sex education that they got goes some way towards explaining a) the high pregnancy rate amongst my peer group and b) their total fear of all things sexual – even talking about it! Other than this, my main (early years) source of information about sex was my father’s 60s/70s porn collection.

    The internet subsequently broadened my horizons considerably and gave me a completely different perspective of what constituted ‘normal’. However, I didn’t have the confidence/self understanding to identify as being bisexual until I was in my early forties. How my life may have been different had ‘Ending the Sexual Dark Age’ been around when I was in my twenties! I am in a very stable and loving relationship of 18 years with the mother of my two children who is, undoubtably, the love of my life and my absolute soul mate. Whilst I am happy to say (on here at least) that I have lots of sexual desires and fantasies involving men, I could never imagine having a deep emotional connection comparable with my current or past relationships with women.

    Basically, I love sucking cock and taking a mouthful of cum/facial, including my own. I have kissed a man, and may do so again, but this is not something that turns me on when thinking about it and never enters fantasies. I have been on the receiving end of an enthusiastically wielded strap-on but, even though this was extremely exciting and huge fun, I don’t feel the same compulsion to experience a real cock in my ass. I have only just come to understand that this is actually a VALID sexual identity and doesn’t mean that I am just trying to deceive anyone or have something that should be denied me as I don’t really ‘qualify’ to receive such pleasures given that I am in a mainly straight relationship. Listening to your podcast has given a much enhanced appreciation of my own sexual identity and I am really grateful to you for that.

    Telling my wife (I always call her that even though we aren’t actually married) that I had bisexual fantasies was one of the most difficult decisions of my life and for a long time, and even now to an extent, she felt very insecure and threatened by this revelation. She has even said that she would find it easier if I just told her that I was gay and that we stay best friends for the sake of the children whilst bringing our own sex life to a close. This would absolutely kill me! However, she has now listened to several episodes of ETSDA, and seems keen to hear more, and I think that she is learning that maybe I’m not such a sexual freak/deviant/weirdo as she may have feared. If you help her accept me for who I am now, rather than who I was when we met almost 20 years ago, I’ll love you forever and you’ll be mentioned in my will!!

    I must stop before this becomes too long for anyone to bother reading (the short ones always get read first) but I would like to say one last thing. You mentioned in your intro to episode one that parents are crap at passing on good sexual information to their children. This will take time to change and all children also seem to be in complete denial that their parents could possibly know anything about sex, even though their very existence shows that we have at least mastered the mechanics if not the more advanced subtleties of technique!

    To play my part in Ending the Sexual Dark Age intend (in a year or two) give my children iPods loaded with the complete back catalogue of your podcast as I consider it to be the most complete, honest and educational sexual resource that I have ever found and I hope that it may save them the years of uncertainty and lack of self understanding that I experienced. I think there is a very good case for making listening to ETSDA part of the national curriculum in schools and leave the kingfishers alone to fuck in private for a while! Thanks again, you are both doing an astounding job.

    • GiaLady

      Hey Darren,
      I agree that sex education is sadly lacking in our society and it is always left up to the schools to provide it. School systems are fraught with codes and rules that make it really difficult to deliver a good sex course. Therefore don’t count on the school to provide the education. I’ve had friends say that they hope porn will provide a sex education for their kids. Yikes! I know that porn is getting better as more women produce it, but society needs solid positive information about sex.

      I listen to a number of other sex positive podcasts besides this one, and thank goodness for pod casts. One I really enjoy, but seems to have lapsed, is Sex is Fun. May I suggest a series of graphic novels 9more comic book in format) on sex education written for young people by Kidder Kaper of Sex is Fun. The site sells the young people’s series. Check it out as it may be an answer for your kids.

      I was fortunate to have parents who provided me with a healthy attitude towards sex. May you find the information you need.

  27. envay

    i am a female, and i am bisexual. I am very interested in BDSM. I fantisize about being a sub but knowing my issues with trust and past relationships, i cant bring myself to be willing. during sex i am almost always the dom, even if it is casual sex, i tend to be more controling then my partner. Curently i am between partners. I havent had much experience with it, and i would love to learn more (i am following your podcasts, i am slow i just finished with number 11). I am willing to try almost anything, and everything that i have tried so far i absolutely love.

  28. herman_the_german

    im an almost 20yr old guy
    here are some of the fetishes i have:

    – i am sexually attracted to the aesthetics of women’s feet and can get off solely by looking at pictures of them
    – i’d like to perform anal on a woman (i am aware that the “porn way” isnt how it works in reality)
    – im into bdsm (especially bondage, but also S&M) weirdly i would like to be the active part (be the one who ties up and dominates) when it comes to women but i find it sexually attractive to imagine being tied up with a dude fucking me (yes, anal) and being controlled by a dude. even though i think i dont feel physically attracted to men… now i wonder if i am somehow bisexual or even “gay in denial” – is there any way to figure that out? id be VERY INTERESTED in getting to know some stories of how some people (especially long-time married men) found out they were actually gay. could you maybe cover that in an episode (if not been done yet)? i think its a VERY important issue thats also interesting for those it doesnt concern directly
    – i have a thing for sexy abs and belly buttons
    – and i sexually enjoy the thought of pleasing a woman and making her cum. sometimes i get off on trying to imagine what it must feel like to have a dick deeply inserted in one’s pussy and getting fucked by it

    yeah, im weird and i dont care

    • Medical Advisor

      Remember fantasies are simply the minds way of exploring possible options. Many things can cause extreme arousal, sometimes they truly are our desires. Others they are just fantasy.

      A Domme friend of mine had a sub who was sure he wanted his dick cut off during a scene and was absolutely convinced this is what he wanted. He begged for months to have this done. They set up the room, tied him down, blindfolded him and all the while he had a horrendous hardon – HUGE I am told. They teasd him for a while then turned on the big electric say. When the saw wound up his hardon disappeared so fast they had to stick a finger up his ass and holler snake to even find it. His fantasy was satisfied as far as anyone was willing to take it (at no time was his dick really at risk).

      Are you “gay in denial” straight or gay is a continum. Some people are fully in one direction but even they have some bit of ‘mmm” what is it like on the otehr side. the rest of us are somewhat in between. We may preferr to lick pussy until our girl cries out and passes out from too much pleasure but when the right cock pops into view we may try it to see if we do like it.
      I know a few guys who only consider sucking a tasty tool if their woman is participating in some active sexual way as part of a 3 or more way.

      Wondering how it feels to get it up the ass is a natural wonder. We like to stick our dicks in all kinds of places – pussy, ass, dresser drawers, mattresses, glory holes. Why would we not wonder if we can cum from a finger or a dick in our ass?
      I guess what this ramble means is you are young, adventurous and have some discovering to do…skip the labels, follow the safer sex practices and go exploring, spelunking, yodeling,drilling submitting our what ever safely and comfortably fills your need. Just use lots of lube if you decide to have something go in the outflow tracts.
      Medical Advisor

  29. MNatheist

    Help! I have a problem. I am having issues kicking the shit installed during my childhood society and parents and religion.

    • Medical Advisor

      Ahh another recovering from the religions of our childhood. Understand you are not alone. Some of us are heading toward 60 and still fighting that demon. If you are considering counseling look for the AASECT website http://www.aasect.org/directory.asp to search for a qualified counselor.
      Good luck in your process.

  30. Lives to Lick Pussy

    First and foremost I want to say thank J.V. and crew for giving all of us a place to explore ourselves and moreover an opportunity to relinquish our sexual restraints.

    I just turned 30 and since I was 17 I’ve enjoyed orally pleasing women almost if not more than the act of sex itself. Being a man I know this may sound shocking, but I put my female partner’s sexual needs over the importance of my very own. Nothing brings me more pleasure than eating at the Y for as long as my partner can stand it. I’ve never once sold my own needs short and I’m always interested in finding new and exciting ways to please her.

    I recently got engaged to a wonderful, supportive woman whom I love heart and soul. Since first listening to the podcasts, I’ve found myself greatly relieved and also very intrigued as to where all of this outstanding information will take our sexual relationship.

  31. Psyche

    I’ve become a frequent visitor to FetLife. The people have been nothing but wonderful, but I’m having trouble getting play partners for my first scene. The few people that have responded are, upon further inspection, creepy middle-aged men into things I *really* have no interest in doing, like age play and foot fetishism. And a lot of them tend to be brat subs, which I’m also not into. I tried to do the “slow fade” thing, but one guy didn’t seem to “get” it until I finally had to bluntly say I wasn’t interested. There was a guy I went as far as having what I thought was a nice conversation on the phone, but when I went to arrange a meeting, he claimed he was busy at work and I never heard from him again. Am I doing something wrong?

    • Eddie Locke

      I must say there is some of that going on, but online may not be the best place to meet people. It is possible that your local munch may be a better option.

      I am a middle-aged guy, and not generally into the scene because I am unhappy with the Dominant community overall. I don’t think that most of them have any idea what a man is, much less a dominant. Screen carefully, ask a lot of questions, and set your boundaries.



      • Anonymous

        Thank you for the advice. I actually found out that going to the page where you can put in what you’re into helped immensely with the weeding out.

  32. Curious dude

    Had a MMF expwrience a while back. I stayed straight the whole time but now fantasise and regret not trying out playing with the man. He held my balls from behind while I fucked her and it was pretty nice

    • OGP

      I have been in a few MMF’s some it just seems right to be straight w/ a twist and in some it is really nice to do 69 with the guy while she is poking and probing each of us. One set of encounters I found playing with his much sweeter than playing with her…and I basically consider myself straight.

      I would suggest when you set up your date and again when before activity starts have the discussion with the other male that you think you’d like to have some MM activity but you are a tad shy. If he is comfortable and starts it will be easier for you to reciprocate. Maybe have him start on you while she is riding your face. or if you are begining to suck on him have her suck your cock…from a straight perspective you don’t “feel so gay” for the early awkward stage. once you get into the activity it won;t matter what any combination of you are doing it will be enjoyable. Just remember a dick deep in your mouth the first time is likely to make you gag no matter what the movies show.

  33. Faye D.

    Today I came across some pictues of girls in thongs, garter belts, and matching bras while looking a product up at work. I instantly felt a tingle in my vag. It spooked me a little to have such an instant and strong reaction.

  34. Faye D.

    I like to look at girls. I like the waist of a girl in particular. Not sure I’d ever do anything sexual, but I like to look.

  35. Pro-John

    I’m in my 30s and I have been married for ten years. Serious trouble early on our marriage we learned the importance of brutal honesty, and we have great communication. There is almost nothing I feel hesitant to tell her. At some point we negociated an open relationship that can be summarized in a “don’t ask don’t tell for safer casual sex, if you’ve fucked someone more than twice, I should know, and don’t lie to me.” There’s a few more clauses that are mostly common sense.

    One night, she asked me if I had ever been with a prostitute. I hadn’t. After a fun conversation, she told me that the only thing that would bother her if I was to pay for sex, is that I could easily get it for free. Not sure I agree on the ease of the endevor of getting laid, but certainly the fact that she said she wouldn’t mind me fucking a pro, kinda flipped a switch in my head that had never before been turned on. Not that much the desire of sex with someone else, but the thrill of going to a pro. I’m not sure I can explain it.

    A few months ago, I went overseas to visit some friends, and decided to go to a brothel (legal there). As I had been thinking about being blown by two girls, so I decided to endulge myself. I got two girls to go up with me to one of the rooms, and spent a fun hour there. When I was back in the US, I thought that I would feel bad about it, but I didn’t. Actually, it gave me some additional footage for things to have in the background in my head when beating off, or fucking my wife. I thought, “It was fun! One time only”.

    Then, two months ago my job took me to another jurisdiction where prostitution is legal. I wasn’t really thinking about going to a brothel. But walking in the surroundings of the hotel where I was staying, I saw a “massage parlor”. Later looked online and some reviews said it had some of the best looking girls in town. I went there, and indeed they did. I spent an hour with a super hot twenty few tiny little red head (though, it cost me more than the hour with the two girls a few months before).

    The “Hey, have you gone to a brothel lately?” quesiton has not been part of our conversation lately, and I don’t expect it to. But for the first time in a long time, there is something I feel very uneasy about telling my wife if she ask… or even more if she doesn’t.

  36. I Want My Pussy Licked

    Before tonight, I had not had a good orgasm since before my boyfriend and I broke up…over two months ago. Granted, I had not worked too hard at it (partially due to the fact that I was sleeping in my parents living room while I visited over summer vacation :( ) but tonight, since I am now in my apartment with my own room, I watched some kink.com, as per Shara’s suggestion, then I broke out my vibrator, clothes-pinned my nipples, and went for it. It was the best orgasm I’d had since becoming single.

    My ex and I had started getting into some light BDSM – bondage to the bed with bandanas and the occasional blindfold, switching roles, and I liked it a lot (more when I was the one tied up). What I really would have loved was to be tied up really well and have my pussy licked and fucked while I couldn’t do anything about it. I got some great orgasms when my ex was licking my pussy, but I often felt like I could have an even bigger orgasm if I let him keep going, but it almost felt like too much and I would pull him up. If I were tied up, I wouldn’t be able to pull him up and I sure as hell wouldn’t keep him from continuing. My moans get really high pitched when I’m having my pussy licked. My ex was my first sexual partner and now that I’ve had some experience, have an idea of what I like, and have now been listening to Ending the Sexual Dark Age for a while, I can’t wait for all the fun I’ll have when I find my next sexual partner.

  37. Pepper

    I have several fantasies that I have always wanted to experience. The first is that I want to be a part of an orgy. I don’t know why, but I do.

    I also want to be dominated, by both a man and a woman, though not at the same time. I want to be forced into doing those naughty little things I tell myself I don’t really want.

    I want to be told by my dom/me to fuck a man while they watch.

    I want to fuck two men at the same time and watch them fuck each other while I fuck myself with a vibrator.

    And finally, I want to be blindfolded in front of a crowd of people, as my domme rubs my pussy and tells me how much she loves it when I do what she says.

    That is all.

  38. smooch688

    I just turned 41. I have been with my husband for 14 years and am struggling with staying faithful. I don’t want to loose my husband and family, I don’t want a divorce, I just want permission to have experiences with other people. Not just men but with women too. I have had very little experience with women but I so strongly desire to be with a lesbian. I really want to know what it would be like to be ravished by a woman who loves to be with other women. I love men and could never live my life without them or their cocks. I am finding that monogamy makes me feel trapped and sufficated. I thought that when I met “Mr. Right” all desires for others would simply fade away. I loved and had lots of sexual experiences when I was a younger woman and enjoyed them all. My husband and I have fantastic sex but that is not satisfying my craving for the touch and attention from other men/women. My husband was cheated on by his first wife….and cannot see an open relationship as an honest and fun experience for us both, he only sees it all as cheating. He is 51 and I don’t hold much hope in him working through his insecurities. He is comfortable with monogamy, me, our life and does not want to change. He is open for new sexual experiences between us but always says he can’t imagine me with another man/woman. He is willing to go to a strip bar and buy me a lap dance in order to see what he is or is not comfortable with. Maybe I would like this, but honestly very pretty women are not the kind I am attracted to (I like more butch women) and I have no fantasies about receiving a lap dance. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know how to evolve our relationship and I don’t know if I can go another 14 years denying myself any sexual experiences with other people, as the opportunities may arise….even just a kiss…I just want to be open and able to honor what may come my way. I cannot do that with a traditional, faithful, monogamy loving husband. What do I do? We have 4 kids – two older and two very young still. It kills me to think I could/would ruin all their lives if I acted on my desires without permission but a little part of me dies every time I am reminded that “this is it.” Any advice would be sincerely appreciated. Wanting to Smooch!!

  39. veronique_m

    I love my boyfriend to bits. We have a great sex life and have been exploring kink together. It’s wonderful. I have a problem though – my b/f is admittedly bisexual (he actually likes the term heteroflexible) and not exactly butch. I worry (an inordinate amount) that he’s going to wake up one day and realize he’s gay.

    I know this is horribly unfair – I identify as bi myself. But I have trouble (thanks societal training!) with the idea of a bisexual male. Exacerbating this is that I was terribly in love with a guy years ago who thought he was bisexual. He realized one day that he was gay and dumped me. It took a long, long time to get over it. It was so hard that I can’t imagine going through it again.

    How do I get past this? Frequent, mind-blowing sex hasn’t done the trick. I know, intellectually, that bi guys exist. I just can’t let go of the fear of being left for something that’s completely out of my control.

    • We’ll be talking about this on episode 37 :)

      Due to computer foolishness, I’ve got to bump this to episode 39. Sorry ’bout that.

    • Sugar

      when i was 16 the only man i have ever loved, ever had sex with had doubts about his sexuality. it was a very horrblie time of my life, he shut down and became distant. eventually we broke up. about 8 months later he came back to me and said he loves me. it took a long time to trust him. now we have been together for years. since we started dating at 15 and now i’m 19, when people ask how long we have been together i say 4 yrs

      it took me a while to get past the idea of being left for man, it was a hard and painnful journey i think mostly because of how young i was but you have to relize that he left you because you were just not the right person for him and thats it. hope this helps

  40. Mario

    I wanted to share with you some of the most horrid sex advice I’ve ever received and I received it from my father. When I was about 8 years old my dad was driving me to my grandmothers house for a family event, half way to her house he says to me (about sex): “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do in front of your grandparents”. I was shocked and it was creepy. Later that same summer, again driving to my grandmothers house, we passed a home with a man outside that probably has multiple sclerosis, my dad looks at me and says “That’s what happens to all faggots”. Thankfully I ignored all the advice he has ever given me. FYI-my parents have been divorced since I was 2 yrs old.

  41. Stealth Guy

    I’m a 36 year old virgin who has never even kissed a girl. What’s the best way for me to get in the game and experience the thrill of pleasing a woman?

    • Can you give me a little more background? It would help to know if you waited on purpose, or whatever brought you to this point. I’ll be able to give better advice.

  42. Cuddles

    I am a new listener and I listen while at work! Between you reading erotica and the bell, I get horny and laugh at my desk. An odd combination while at work! People walking by must think I’m nuts! I’ve even thought of getting an OhMiBod vibrator and hooking it up to my iphone and listen to the erotica epidsode while at home because you have a deep voice and I’m sure that would be a fun time! Oh and Shara’s breathing in the mic was sexy! Just sayin’!But I couldn’t get off at work so I came home still horny an told my husband I need you in my mouth! I didn’t get off but I was satisfied! ;-) Anyways, just had to get that out.

    I have listened to almost all of the episodes and I just wanted to say to all of these girls writing in asking about finding their cock smith, I have been there and had a dud but I am so very grateful I did! He just didn’t know what he was doing and did not listen to what I needed or wanted. So although he was a prick in our relationship he offered to try just about anything to try and get me off (although he said it was all my fault! ugh). That was when we started playing with toys, watching porn together, having him shave me, anal play, and various other things. He still was an ass and I had to leave for my own well-being and safety but I’m thankful for that time because if I hadn’t had a dud and needed to try this stuff I wouldn’t know what I love now. It could have taken me longer to discover these things about myself.

    Now I’m married to a wonderful generous man who I’ve loved for years! We dated previously (before the prick, and with no sex), but stayed friends for a couple of years, then we finally admitted our true feelings were more than friends. A day later we had fucked for the first time, after two hours of foreplay, teasing, and my first orgasm with someone else, he looked at me and said you’re mine from this moment on!(I think he just loved my enthusiasm at sucking his cock! Then me squirting all over him! ;-))

    We have now been together for 11 years, married for 6! And amazingly the sex just keeps getting better! We are adventurous and he basically will try anything I ask! Plus, he won’t even fuck me until he’s made me cum with his fingers or mouth at least once. Gotta love it! I’m still loving toys thanks to the dud but now we have kinkier things to play with, woohoo! I even make my own rope floggers thanks to the tutorial by the Two Knotty Boys and opened my own toy business! So, to all those women upset that they haven’t found their cock-smith and have duds, you can still learn a lot about yourself from those duds so don’t think too bad of them! When you’ve learned all you could, then use all your new knowledge to blow the mind or cock of a real cock-smith when you meet him! Anyways, I know I ramble but I just had to get that out! Hmmm I kinda like this confessional!

    Great podcast! I’m now addicted and will keep listening!


  43. a name

    I like physical pain to an extent. Like clawing, whipping, flogging etc. to hurt a bit.

    I find that when being worked over by my Master that a little extra pain is enjoyable and makes me want it more often.

    I also find that when nails are dragged extremely hard against my skin by someone that I love it when it stings/burns. It not only just feels good during sex but the after affect makes me smile. It reminds me the following days of what had h appened.

  44. Psyche

    Another thought: I was listening again to your advice about online dating and your advice about getting a cocksmith or training one…I’ve come to the realization that I really don’t want to train a cocksmith. I’ve tried it. I’ve even tried being gentle about it, like they suggested once in an issue of Cosmo. Either the men I’m with simply aren’t interested in pleasing me, or Cosmo is full of shit. I want a ready-made cocksmith. Is that being selfish?

    • 1) Cosmo is hilariously full of shit. Terrible advice from women who obviously don’t understand men.

      2) There’s nothing selfish about knowing what you want and going after it. Also, there’s nothing selfish about wanting sexual satisfaction and not being willing to settle for less. If that’s your path then the first thing you should do is accept that you’re probably going to have to make your way through quite a few guys to find one, so if you have any dark-age-induced hesitations about racking up some conquests you probably want to think about those long and hard.

      Over time you’ll get better at spotting lousy lovers, so I say go forth and fuck as many guys as it takes to find a decent one (while being safe, of course). Happy Hunting ;)

      • Psyche

        I always thought that Cosmo was full of shit. They make a big show of claming to be for the modern feminist-and fill their pages with makeup and clothes tips. Oh, and so they won’t be accused of being sexist, they’ll throw a bone by talking about stuff that is supposedly for your safety, like advice about date rape drugs, but is really supposed to make you feel like you’re a fucking idiot with no common sense whatsoever and ensure you don’t want to leave you house. And every year, when I see the annual Cosmo Kama Sutra, I think that whoever comes up with it ought to just write erotica and be done with it.

        • When does that issue come out? I might pick up a copy and see if it’s worth lampooning on the show.

          • Psyche

            I think the Cosmo Kama Sutra article is in every Febuary issue. I could be wrong. I know around this time they publish the corresponding flash cards. You can find them in the Sexuality section at your local bookstore. One position, I seem to recall, has the guy hanging off chandalier while the woman wraps herself around him.

            • John V.

              I always laugh at the COSMO covers that have the “How to get a man to want to have sex with YOU” taglines. My thought is “Ummm… get NAKED and say YES”!??!?!?

  45. not sayin :P

    My daughter just walked into the room when I was checking to see if the new podcast was up. She just turned 5. “Why is that guy giving away his head?” “thats wierd that he is giving his head to someone”

  46. Psyche

    Thank you JV, for answering my questions on the Viewer Mail. I joined Fet Life yesterday and so far, they’ve been nothing but nice.

    In retrospect, many of the minute men I’ve dated were assholes and them disappearing was a good thing. My first date, Kinky Guy admitted to having been financially used by a Domme. Second guy, I lost my virginity to and he had the type of family disfunction that would make Jerry Springer gasp in horror. One phone call was interrupted by his stepfather trying to drunkenly fight him. He accidently hung up to defend himself and called me back to apolgize and explain.

    There was a very one sided friend with benefits situation in between Two and Three.

    Third Guy, we went on two dates and he turned out to be a whiny bitch. The second date he brought he sister along and we slept overnight at her house. I guess he was on the fence and his sister was there to give her judgement and I failed in her eyes.

    Fourth Guy, I actually met offline-he picked me up at a video game store and asked for my number-he turned out to be an emotionally abusive slacker. I “dated” him for three
    weeks. The last straw came when he demanded I move in with him-and told me I couldn’t talk or text him until I got a job. This time, I was the one who stopped calling him.

    Rational Me knows it was a good thing, but Inner Critic Me scolds me for not trying harder to keep them interested. Well, at least the first three. Rational Me and Inner Critic Me both agree Four was a bad idea.

    You mentioned trying to find munches in the area. What if you live with your parents and they’re not kink positive people? What if mom drives you to social events? Do I give a bullshit explanation for why I’m going to a munch?

    • Liam

      In regards to munches they are usually at a public place like a restaurant or bar where people can meet without arousing too much suspicion. Usually you would if you were new you’d ask where the “internet” group was sitting and then head on over. Unless your mom is going to come in with you I’d just tell her that you are meeting friends at the location.

      • Psyche

        I know that munches are at public places and all. But what if the resturants or bars are places I can’t afford to go to?

        • That’s going to be a little tough, but they’re not likely to be happening anywhere that’s particularly expensive. Munches are all about being inclusive, so the organizers don’t want to price people out of being able to attend. At a bar there’s nothing wrong with staying sober (thus keeping the tab down). Most of the munches I’ve been to were held at family restaurant type places.

  47. Vi

    So, I used to be a real sex addict. All fun a few years. However, I fell into a sexual slump. I still am in a sexual slump. I get horny often. I masturbate every day or sometimes go over a month without it. Sex seems to have the same pleasure as taking a huge dump. It feels good as it’s happening; it feels great for up to five minutes afterward. Then, I couldn’t care less. I’ve tried toys, different positions, different time amounts… Nothing seems to change.

    I guess this girl is just going to be sex addict free. I think I’m okay with that seeing as I am no longer in a relationship and don’t have to worry about having sex to please a partner. That seems like a good plan…

    • shara

      I think it’s GREAT if you have a partner you WANT to please but I think it’s most important that YOU enjoy sex for yourself first. Whether I play all by myself or with JV, I ALWAYS make sure I am being pleased. If I’m not in the mood to do a blow job then it might not please JV as much as when I’m in the mood. I get so wet sometimes that JV tells me I’m the wettest pussy in town. I have to say it’s because I LOVE sex and I get wet just thinking about having sex with him. But we stir it up a lot and that makes it even more fun.

      Hopefully soon you will enjoy playing with yourself and finding yourself while you play. ENJOY being with you!


    • I’m going to talk about this on a listener mail show soon because I think it’s worthy of more attention than I can give in a comment. Did anything unusual or significant happen in your life when the slump started?

  48. shara

    I hate to admit this here but I promised when we started this that no matter what I would give 100% honesty even if it meant I might get punished if not doing what I’m supposed to do. I was and still am responsible for our sex diary in which I have only written in once. I thought it was a great idea and still do but haven’t had time to write in it. I think I should be very responsible in this area as I do believe it is a great idea. Now, JV has to approve all things written here so he will know and I squirm in my seat as I write this.

    Fingers crossed he’ll go easy on me as he knows how busy I have been.


  49. Anonymous

    I am not a man who takes it up the ass but my Mistress tells me the next time we get together some fun is going to happen to my ass. I am going to lose my ass virginity while her sub sucks my cock and I suck him.

    I have sucked cock occasionally and enjoyed the activity. I was in a threesome with a couple and found him and his cock sweeter than she was – kinda surprised me. IT was fun having her suck my cock while she was getting fucked up the ass though.

    In another play time I was on the floor with a pussy on my face and unexpectedly got to watch her give her top a blowjob. Don’t often get to see a mans balls from below like that!

    So back to my predicament….I wake up from sleep with a blazing hard-on thinking about all this happening and have to bet my cock senseless to get back to sleep. Not some thing this ‘mostly’ straight ass virgin guy usually thinks about…..Now I gotta get that scheduled.

  50. ninjah

    Before I die I want to be in a orgy. I don’t care when, shit I could be 90 using a walker, but its gotta happen.

    The above isn’t a confession its a proclamation

  51. Psyche

    The first date I went on was with a guy who was kinky. He asked me to order him around and I liked it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t for him and I never heard from him again. Afterwards, I started reading books on bdsm and realised I hadn’t negotiated properly. D’oh!

    • We all stumble with kink in the beginning. I was experimenting long before I realized there was a “community” out there at all. Live, learn, try again :)

      • Psyche

        A question: what do I do about the vanilla guys who think when I mention the kinky guy assume that I’m into the bdsm you see in the movies? How do I let him down?

        • Psyche

          I mean by that, I should add, the guys who hear about the kinky guy and assume I’m gonna whip out the ball gag and the riding crop right then and there. I know this by the leering or creeped out expressions on their faces (or, if on the phone, the sound of them struggling to come up with something to say). I’m not ashamed of my only time with Kinky Guy, it’s just that I don’t want guys to get the wrong impression of me. Any thoughts?

          • Hey Psyche,

            I think your solution here is pretty simple. Notch back how much you tell new guys about past kinky experiences, and just tell them you’re curious and you tried dominating a guy once and liked it. That puts the issue on the table, but at the same time tells him you’re not an expert and you’re still getting a handle on what you want. You could even leave out the one experience altogether and just say it’s something you fantasize about. That will give you the freedom to start from scratch with someone new.

  52. Swaggie

    I secretly want to se my gf get gangbanged by myself and two other guys. I love her to death and she is such a good nasty slut for me. I think it would make me go crazy to see her slut it out for other dudes. Idk y but here it is

  53. Psyche

    I’m gonna suprize a lot of people by saying this, but I hate sex. I wasn’t raped or anything. It’s just that my few experiences have been horrible. I meet a guy over the internet, we eventually exchange numbers, and at some point, unbidden, the guy starts talking dirty. I don’t like it because all I want to do is date and maybe, if so inclined, sleep together. I don’t like where it goes, but I’m too polite to hang up.

    Then we meet and it leads to horrible, five-second sex. He then decides he’s “too busy” to contact me anymore and I never hear from him again. But as awful as sex with a person is, I have had great, mindblowing sex with myself. Once I came so hard that I fell asleep for two hours. Is there something wrong with me?

    • Online dating presents some unique challenges that I’m going to cover in (you guessed it) an episode dedicated to online dating. In short, you end up talking with people and exchanging a lot of personal info before you ever meet and determine if there’s any real chemistry. You get invested in the relationship before you find out if there’s a spark, and when there isn’t one it’s even more disappointing because of the time you’ve put in.

      There’s nothing wrong with you. If you’re able to get yourself off hard enough to pass out, your brain and body are in sync sexually. The challenge is finding a playmate with the patience to learn how to push your buttons, and unfortunately that’s a challenge for everyone. It might help to be blunt about your desires earlier.

      I’m going to put this on deck for an upcoming listener mail.

    • Mor-Ríoghain

      Holy crap! are you my long lost twin! I would MUCH rather fuck myself! I can give ME mind blowing orgasms just by rubbing my clit! I am 35 and have not had an orgasm that was supplied by a partner since I was 15! And I don’t count the ones I had when I was about 18, I did those too, he just layed there! I am married and we have a kid so I can’t really go out there and search for my perfect sexual partner by fucking anything that moves, can I? So very unhappy…

  54. I_

    My fantasy is tying up a woman, tightly, with her legs spread, and fucking her with a dildo while stimulating her clit with a vibrator, until her brain turns to mush.

  55. anonymous

    It makes me SO hot to give head, my pussy swells and juices flow. My boyfriend LOVES it ….. but my fantasy that I have never told anyone is I want to fucked from behind while I am sucking dick. I think it would take me over the edge!! Sometimes it seems as if I could even have an orgasm from giving head… OK, it’s time to go get out a toy!! BTW – love the Pornoglyphs :)

    • Shara

      I think you should tell your boyfriend…he might be as hot about it as you ar…he might enjoy watching you either suck someone elses’ cock or watch you getting fucked while giving him head. My pussy swells and juices flow as well…although…I think mine is like that 24/7…lol

      Let us know!


  56. Squerrik

    I am involved in a virtual world community and run a school for submissives in world. Trick is while I am male, in the community I am female and have been for several years. Just the other day one of my girls told me that she was certain I was female in RL because I was too good a lover to be male. And this girl (I know for a fact she is Real Life female) is very hetrosexual so I must be doing something right anyway

  57. anonymous

    I’ve always thought it would be hot to have a girl give me head under the table in a restaurant.

  58. anonymous

    I have always been turned on by the thought of sex outdoors, partly from the openess and natural-ness of it, also the potential thrill of being caught?

    • There’s something absolutely primal about sex in the rain. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s like communing with nature through every bone in your body.

      • Kyiara

        Totally have to agree with you on that one J.V. Probably some of the best sex I ever had was with my husband (then lover) in the bed of his pickup truck, on a little dirt road in the middle of the forest in Germany, in the drizzling rain. It was so hot that the rough wool blanket we snagged from his barricks to keep warm was needed!

  59. shara

    My assignment is to write on this before the end of the day telling something I have never shared with anyone else…that confession. Okay, well, I have become quite close with many wonderful women since the podcast….a few I have yet to meet. Someone I have yet to meet, I think about often. I’ve seen pictures of her and find her to be absolutely beautiful, inside and out. She is brutally honest but always diplomatic, she is caring but doesn’t necessarily wear her heart out on her sleeve, she is strong yet has that soft side to her. So, one night as I lay my head in the arms of JV I fell asleep and I awoke realizing I had a dream that her and I had a very sexual moment together and realized just how wet I was from that dream…soaking wet that is and that still puts a smile on my face.

    Thank you for the wet dreams and hope you don’t hold it against me…it’s truly a compliment as not many women enter my dreams where I see their face and know exactly who they are. (Kept your name off of here to protect you…the innocent) ~giggle~ ~blush~


  60. Elf

    My fantasy is to be sandwiched between two men, one fucking my arse, the other my pussy.

    And – to “anon” – I would throughly recommend introducing the boyfriend to a strap-on. ;-)

  61. anonymous

    I like manga/anime and enjoy watching some hentai. Sometimes when masturbating I imagine we are anime characters.

  62. anonymous

    I have alot of sexual fantasies of fucking my boyfriend (hard) with a strap-on while he fucks another girl. Then him pulling out and cumming all over her while I’m still fucking him.

    Me or someone else using a strap-on on my boyfriend is a bigger turn on than I thought.

  63. Licker

    Hi I like to lick pussy a lot! And some times when very excited I will lick it after I’ve come up it, if she has not finished yet. I love to make her come on my tongue it’s the best!

  64. Lily

    I’m an anime/manga fan, and sometimes when my boyfriend fucks me I imagine his cock is a giant tentacle. ESPECIALLY when we’re doing doggy.

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